Fools In Love
by AnotherStupidLamb
Summary: They are fools in love, unconditional and irrivocable. When Edward comes into Bella's life and shows her that his past is something to cause alarm, Bella doesn't back down. What happens when Bella tries to fix the broken past? OOC/AH/ExB
1. I Am A Fool

**_Ok, so new idea? Read and review please :)_**

**_D: Roses are red Violets are blue. You don't own twilight. You think I do?_**

The flowers sat in the exact center of the marble topped table; green and white in the luminous hotel lighting. White bulbs with little brown speckles smattered across the surface. A thick green stem with vibrant green leaves sprouting out at random.

Orchids, or maybe some type of lily. Bella thought.

She sat cross-legged at a green fabric couch. Chunky, red, square pillows were placed neatly on each cushion, propped up against the back and arm of the two-seater. Her foot jiggled silently in her knee-high leather boot, black and soft as butter.

Bella was a young woman, twenty, soon to be twenty-one. Her hair was chocolate brown and fell past her shoulders to mid back. She was pretty and well kept, enjoying the looks she got as men passed her waiting figure on the couch.

Bella's eyes roamed over the crowded foyer of the Delta Inn. Scanning every man who was a possible match to her description of him. She hadn't seen a picture yet, though she knew vaguely what he must look like. He must have been tall, six foot three at least. His hair would have to be kept neat, probably a light shade. Bella had profiled him, judging his type and his appearance by his personality. Bella had a lot of experience with people, knew vaguely the personality to appearance ratio. Some people liked to throw her off though. Some people like _DrawDeM_.

_You'll know me when you see me,_ said the letter he had sent her. He had invited Bella to diner with him, though they had never met. She didn't even know his name. They had met online, some chat room she'd entered while at the coffee shop a few days back. Bella had no idea what made her listen to e-mail. A part of her brain was telling her how insane she was, that this guy could be some deranged stalker finally getting to cart her off to some alley down town where he could kidnap her and keep her prisoner in his basement.

Bella shook her head once, ridding it of the idea thatDrawDeM_—_her cyber friend—could be some sort of cereal kidnapper and stalker.

_Why did he want to meet you at a hotel then, Bella?_ The more rational part of her brain asked. _He obviously believes you're cheap and easy, and that you'll do anything for a meal. _

_Shut up!_ Bella's risky side of her brain shot back. Dueling brain sides was a never a symptom of mental stability. Ok, so the whole 'meeting at a hotel' thing was kind of odd but there was something about _DrawDeM _that made Bella's stomach fill with butterflies and her heart thud unevenly in her chest.

It was about two months ago when Bella had walked into the innocent looking café. It had a relaxed look, mostly browns and oranges with hints of red. Quiet indie rock played in the background and the customers were all dressed for the alternative setting, including Bella. She had a pair of brown suede boots over black tights, a tight, sage green sweater dress and a black knitted beret.

Bella plugged in her laptop and ordered a mint kiss latté—chocolate, espresso and mint, her favorite combination in a caffeinated beverage—She loved the scene at the downtown café, Grounded. The waiter had been cute. He smiled at her tentatively as he set her drink on top of a napkin next to her computer.

Bella took a sip of her drink and started towards the napkin to replace her cup on the table. A number and a name were scrawled across the surface.

_Matt, 21, Call me._ And then a number.

Bella rolled her eyes, using her peripheral vision to see where 'Matt' had run off to. He was checking her out behind the counter, dish rag in one hand and a brown mug he'd been drying for the last four minutes in the other. She sighed and glanced over at him. Matt smiled and waved carefully. He was cute, but she wasn't interested in boys. Bella wanted someone who wasn't afraid to ask her out, who would make the first move, unafraid of rejection. She wanted a man, not a boy.

Her computer booted up and she typed in her password quickly and logged onto the WI-FI. She was just beginning to research for her article, when an ad caught her eye.

_CHATTIN! Indie Alternate Chat Group. _It read. It had a picture of a girl sitting at a laptop in a café just like her, wearing a black knitted beret, just like her. Interesting.

Well, why not. She didn't know many people into her scene and she noticed the guy next to her had the same page open. Bella registered an account trying to think up a witty name. Her wit failed her as always, so she went with generic. _IsaSwan_. The first three letters of her first name and her last name. Lame but passable. No one would know who she was anyway.

Bella sifted through all the chat rooms, finding one finally that caught her interest.

_For those of us… who like good music._

It was there that she met DrawDeM for the first time. The two chatted together on and off for a few days, until Bella got hooked on her cyber friend. She logged on as often as she could and wished for him to be online. He was most of the time. Sometimes he would leave her messages, saying when he would be back, or just about something he wanted to say to her. They were all simple enough. Until the most recent one.

**DrawDeM: **_Hey, meet me at the Delta Inn on Friday at around 7. _

**IsaSwan: **_Ok? How will I know who you are?_

**DrawDeM: **_You'll know me when you see me. –D_

Bella sent off another e-mail, telling him that specifics like hair and height always helped when looking for someone in a crowd, but she'd never gotten a reply. She didn't even know why she had showed up today. Anticipation, curiosity, curving away from her natural straight line of life. All she knew is that DrawDeM would be meeting her, and she had no idea what to look for.

A few men passed Bella sitting on the couch in the hotel lobby. It was a nice hotel, warm lighting, wood paneled walls, gold accents everywhere, expensive flowers and arrangements. Bella had no idea why DrawDeM would want to meet her there, but then again he seemed a very mysterious person all around. The man looked Bella up and down and gave her a look that was clearly inappropriate when in a formal setting.

Bella had been scanning every man in the room she had seen, searching for that one that stood out. So far, no one had.

"Are you waiting for someone?" A deep, adult male's voice asked her.

Bella raised her chin to look up into the eyes of the stranger. He was tall, probably about six foot four. His hair was brown with a splash of orange, bronze? He was wearing a pair of black slacks and dress shoes, highly polished, and a cobalt blue button down shirt, tucked in. Slung over his shoulders was a black sports coat. He was well dressed and very, very good looking, Bella noticed.

"Yes." She replied simply.

"Late?" the man asked.

Bella glanced at the electronic screen on her cell phone. Seven twelve.

"Very." She said, a look of mock anger on her flawless features.

"Mind if I cut in then? I mean, it's never polite to keep a lady in waiting."

A perfect Casanova, Bella thought to herself and smiled. It was him, she just knew it.

The man bowed suddenly and extended his hand towards her, palm up. Bella took it and pulled herself to her feet. He linked her arm through his and led her to the quiet hotel parlor. Bella noticed the glass painted to form the words, The Regatta Bar. He led her to a table and pulled the chair out, gesturing for her to sit. She did and he did the same across the table. It was dimly lit, a candle in the middle of each table and a few lamps on the outskirts of the room.

"Can I ask you a question?" Bella asked.

"Clearly you just did," He told her, an amused look on his face. "But, I will be gracious and allow one more."

Bella knew it was him now, he had typed that exact thing to her a few weeks back in an e-mail.

"What's your name?" She inquired.

"Edward."

"Ah, I see."

Bella saw the connection now. DrawDe was just Edward backwards.

"What does the 'M' stand for?" she continued.

"Mason," He clarified, he had known what she was asking.

"Your last name?" He nodded, "Edward Mason. Pleased to finally meet you." Bella smiled and extended her hand across the table. Edward took it and kissed the back of it gently.

"The honor is all mine." He said, releasing her hand. Bella wished her hadn't though. She wished he would have continued to hold it. It felt safe when he was near, Bella had no idea why.

"I have a question for you." It wasn't a question, he was good at this game.

"Alright." Bella agreed, there was no way she could have said no.

"What is your name?"

"Bella."

"As in _Isa_bella?" He wondered. She nodded. "Who's the swan then?"

"My last name." she clarified.

Edward looked passed her and smiled. "Hungry?" He asked.

"I haven't had diner yet." Bella told him.

"So you are?" His eyes narrowed in confusion at her cryptic girl remark.

"I could eat something."

That bit of information didn't seem to elucidate anything for him. Bella sighed a "Yes" and heard Edward chuckle across the table, just as a waitress set down two menus in front of each. She smiled and told them the special, chicken farfalle.

Edward gestured for her to go first.

"Anything you want." He assured her.

Bella glanced over the menu while the waitress picked her nail and Edward waited politely.

"Uhm… Just the special." Bella muttered, tossing in the words 'Please' and 'thank you' as an afterthought. Edward was more prepared to order and she heard the waitress intake a sharp breath when she saw him clearly in the dim lighting.

"Char-grilled sirloin, please. Rare." Edward flashed a brilliant smile of gleaming white teeth that rightfully should have knocked any woman off her feet. Bella was grateful she was sitting for just that fact.

The waitress bustled off into the kitchen with a quick curtsy which made Edward shake his head slightly in confusion.

"Did she just curtsy at you?" Bella asked, trying to hold back laughter.

"I was wondering the same thing." He laughed.

"What are you doing on a chat site?" Bella wondered, curiosity taking over her manners.

Edward pondered that for a moment.

"I was discussing good music. That is, until a little swan swam up." His eyes crinkled into a smile and Bella noticed for the first time how beautiful they were. In fact, she really only began to notice how beautiful he was. His lips were pink and straight, curving up at one corner into a crooked smile that could melt hearts. He was clean shaved, yet the very beginnings of a five o'clock shadow were peaking through. His eyes were green, greener than the purest emeralds. Like staring into a forest on a sunlit day in July. His hair was styled in casual disarray, yet the way he kept messing it up, Bella wasn't sure if it was styled or natural. It was long, but it didn't touch his forehead. He kept pushing it back every time it got close, a nervous habit?

"Why were you there?" He continued and Bella broke her careful memorization of his face.

"I was curious. The ad caught my eye. I was wearing the same thing as the girl in the picture. I thought maybe, it was a sign or something." She said, looking at her hands on the table. She wasn't the spiritual type, this wasn't her usual area of discussion.

Edward didn't say anything. Instead he looked her up and down for the first time. She was wearing a short black dress with a white belt around her tiny waist. It looked like something fresh out of the sixties. Paired with a set of knee-high black leather boots with a stiletto heel. It was nearly enough to make him fall out of his seat.

"You look… gorgeous." He stammered, eyes lingering in places that were completely impolite for him to be looking at.

Bella blushed and bit her lip, eyes moving back to her hands. She knew he was staring, usually she liked the attention, but from someone who looked like Edward, it just made her slightly self-conscious. Edward took her hand is his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." He said, worry crossing his perfect features.

"No, it's ok. I'm not. I just… I… thank you." She stuttered.

The food arrived along with a bottle of wine in a bucket of ice. The waitress popped off the cork before she left. Edward poured two glasses and placed one in front of Bella and one in front of himself. She thanked him and tucked into her pasta. Bella didn't realize how hungry she was until she reached the bottom of her plate. Edward, with the unmovable smile still on his face, pushed the basket of breadsticks towards her.

"You look hungry." He observed.

"I was." She told him smiling. She hadn't eaten all day, she hadn't gotten a chance.

Edward flashed his teeth at her again in a gleaming white grin. She looked away, across the bar. The waitress was watching them, her eyes narrowed as they met Bella's.

Edward glanced in the direction Bella was looking, then chuckled to himself when he saw the girl behind the bar.

"She's just standing there ogling you." Bella said, slightly amazed. "Her gaze isn't even faltering, and she knows I'm watching her watch you."

"Doesn't bother you does it?" Edward asked, ever amused.

"No, why would it? It's just silly. And it's rude to stare."

Edward laughed out loud this time shaking his head at Bella's defense.

"Bella?" Edward asked, serious for the first time tonight.

"Yes?" Bella's attention had been dragged back to him, due to his sudden seriousness.

"Would you like to go someplace more private? Away from woman in short black aprons?" He asked, half a crooked smile on his face.

Bella just nodded. A warm flush was creeping up her face and she didn't dare give it away with her voice.

The waitress reappeared and Edward handed her a couple bills after glancing at the number, telling her to keep the change. Edward stood and pulled Bella's chair out taking her hand and linking it through his again. Bella clung closer to him, feeling the emotion she felt towards DrawDeM now radiating towards Edward.

He led her out of the hotel's glass doors and down the steps. It was a cold night for October and Bella shivered in the night's air. Edward frowned down at her.

"You didn't bring a jacket?" He asked.

"Well it wasn't that cold when I got in the cab." She said.

"You told me you had a car."

"I do. Cab fare is cheaper that paying for parking in the city." She shook her head, clearly annoyed at that fact.

"That's true, in New York at least."

They were walking down a well-lit road. Fluorescent lighting shining through the plate glass of random store fronts. Chinese restaurants, dry cleaners, laundry-mats, convenience stores. This truly was the city that never sleeps.

Edward took his coat from his shoulder and placed it on Bella, doing up the top button. She thanked him and clung back to his arm.

"Why did you come tonight?" Edward suddenly asked.

"Because you asked me to." Bella replied.

"No, I mean. Why did you listen to me? A perfect stranger."

"You aren't a stranger, I've known you for more than three months." She answered confusedly.

"I might as well be a stranger, you have no idea if anything that I said was true or not. Why did you believe I wasn't just some… deranged stalker?"

"Part of me has been wondering that for a while. But the part I listen to, said you were a pretty decent guy, who's had a few bad breaks in life."

"And what part would that be?" his curiosity taking over his voice now.

"My heart." Bella whispered, just loud enough that Edward wasn't quite sure if he'd heard right.

Edward stopped in front of a town house with two spruce trees flanking the front door. It was expensive looking and three stories high. One of the houses only an upper New Yorker would have access to.

Edward leaned down towards Bella, his lips parted slightly. Bella had just enough time to register what he was doing, and prepare herself for what was coming.

His mouth was gentle as it met with her. The kind of kiss you aren't sure is there, but you know is because of the sudden electric shock you get when it hits. His mouth pressed a little closer into hers and she felt his need and passion build behind it making each movement of his lips more intense.

Edward's right hand pulled Bella closer to him, via the back of her neck. While his left grasped her right forearm. Bella's left hand was wrapped around his neck, her right was at his waist her thumb in his belt loop.

They held their posture for a few more seconds until Bella's need for oxygen overcame her longing for the kiss to never end. She took a deep breath, heart pounding like she was having a stroke.

Edward stroked her hair and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I'm glad you're not the fool who listened to smarts over irrational judgment."

Bella smiled and whispered back, "But I am a fool." Edward gave her a quizzical look. "Only fools fall in love."

**_To be Continued? Idk. Review or PM me. If you want me to continue, then I need a beta. Because I'm bad at stuff like grammar and spelling. :) _**

**_Anywhoo... I'm being barraged by e-mails and IM's so... R&R... well I guess you can cross of one 'R' from that list, cuz you already read the thing, unless of course we're using R&R in reference to Recycle and Reuse... in which case, you can't do enough of._**

**_-Jamie_**


	2. I Have A Catch

_**So, I've descided to continue with Fools In Love. My poll shows that people want me to restart this story and I agree with you all. This is also my favorite story and I finally have an actually plot for it. So it's not just some random story now. It's actually going to have all story components. Like a beginning, middle and end. Before it just had a beginning and like… assortied middle parts, but really no end. Now it has it all. :) Anyway. Chapter two, Fools in Love. **_

_**DrawDeM:**_ Good morning. Hope you had a good night.

_**IsaSwan**_: I did, thank you. And, yourself?

_**DrawDeM:**_ I had a wonderful night. Met this beautiful young woman. I kissed her and amazingly enough, I got her number.

_**IsaSwan: **_Oh? Why don't you give her a call then? Arrange another date, you know.

_**DrawDeM: **_That is a terrific idea. Since when have you been so smart?

_**IsaSwan: **_Since you figured out I wasn't a blond. ;)

_**DrawDeM: **_Oh, touché.

_**IsaSwan: **_Thank you.

_**DrawDeM: **_I'll be back, I'm going to go call a beautiful woman now.

_**IsaSwan: **_I'll be waiting. ;)

Bella swung her chair around and strolled into the kitchen. The wood was solid and smooth beneath her bare feet, and just a little cold. Her kitchen consisted of greens and blues, as did much of her apartment, all cool colors, relaxing and mildly seductive. She had painted it herself after she moved in and realized that the last tenant of the apartment enjoyed only the colors taupe and pea green. The apartment made Bella feel like she was walking in the ocean or in the middle of a forest on a cloudless day.

Bella poured herself another cup of coffee, adding the appropriate amount of milk and sugar. She sipped at it lightly, feeling the liquid burn her lips. She set the turquoise mug back on the counter and threw her spoon into the sink.

The phone rang. Bella was in no rush to answer to it. She knew who it was. She walked casually over to where the phone rested in its cradle and picked it up on the fifth ring. She touched the phone to her ear without even looking at the little yellow screen that would tell her who the caller was.

"Good morning." Said a deep male voice on the other end. She had only heard this voice on one occasion before, yet she already recognized it.

"Thank you." She replied, "Morning to yourself."

"How did you sleep?" The man asked.

"Exceptionally well, thanks."

"Better than usual, huh?" He sounded cocky now. Bella enjoyed it when men were arrogant, she liked knocking them off their pedestals.

"I had a good dream." She said simply, luring him into her trap.

"And what was this dream about?" He sounded excited now.

"Oh, just this new dress I bought, and then about an article I'm writing." Bella said seriously. She liked tricking him. Arrogance only made you fall harder.

"Oh, well that's good." He sounded disappointed. She felt bad. He really sounded genuinely let down. She laughed once.

"I'm kidding, Edward." She said, still laughing. "Anyway, what exactly did you call me for?"

"Right, well… I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out again?" He said, making it into a question at the end. He wasn't quite so arrogant anymore.

"I think a day out of the apartment would be nice." She said casually.

"Can I pick you up in about an hour?"

Bella told him her address and hung up her phone. She stood in spot for approximately thirty seconds before fleeing to the back of her closet to find a suitable outfit. She had never really cared much about clothes before. To be honest, Bella looked good in almost anything. Yet, Edward was a whole class of human that she'd never really been around. His whole essence screamed upper-east-side, yet he like alternative music and sultry jazz. He liked down to earth cafés and a good book. He had the attitude of an upper New Yorker, but he didn't really act like one.

Bella slipped into a pair of black skinny jeans and a white silk camisole. She threw on a half length leather jacket because of the weather. She did her hair and makeup, going for the sexy dark-and-smoky-eye look.

Bella sat back at her vanity table and looked in the mirror. She had to admit, she wasn't bad looking. Yet next to Edward, she felt rather plain. There had to be something about him that wasn't right. There was always a catch. There was always a secret. Bella decided that today, she would ask him. She wanted to know what his secret was. Maybe she would even tell him hers. Of course she had a secret. Everyone has one.

The buzzer rang out on her apartment's intercom. Bella walked to the door and held down the little grey button that would allow her to talk with whomever was buzzing the door.

"Hello?" She asked into the white speaker, though she had a good idea of who it was.

"Hey, Can I come up? Or are you coming down?" The voice answered. Bella smiled.

"Well eventually both, but how about you come up first, then we'll go down after."

She ended the conversation by holding her finger over the blue circle that would let people into the apartment.

About ten minutes later he arrived at her door. Edward, in all his glory. She had never seen his face in proper light so again, it was like seeing him for the first time. Was it possible to get over a face like that? Bella didn't think so.

She gave him a quizzical a look.

"You realize I only live on the third floor right? It took you ten minutes to get up here?"

"Yea well, after I got in the door I realized you had forgotten to mention which apartment you were in so I just started banging on doors until I got the right one." He shrugged and shone her that crooked smile. Bella laughed and gave him a hug, letting him into her tiny abode. He let go, only reluctantly it seemed.

Edward held onto her arm and pulled to him again.

"A hug? And after all I did for you last night…" He whispered, trailing off. His lips met hers and again her heart swelled with the irrational amount of affection that radiated towards him. She could have spent her whole life kissing Edward; yet trivial thinks breathing and walking, always got in the way.

Bella lost count of the minutes that went by as they stood there kissing, Edward still only halfway in the door. She pulled herself flush against him, while an errant thought told her that there were too many layers of clothes between the two of them.

Bella was just beginning to contemplate taking off her jacket, due to her sudden over heatedness, when one of the neighbors walked by and whistled.

Edward broke off and turned to face the 19 year old boy who's apartment was next to Bella's. He'd always had puppy eyes for her, ever since he moved in a year ago. Bella was happy that she finally had an escape from his constant crush towards her.

"Oh, hey Mike." She waved once and let her arm fall back to her side. He was one of those cute-nerds, came equipped with a Jew-fro and thick framed glasses. He was really cute. But he was also a boy. And Bella didn't like boys. She liked men.

"Uhm, Hey Bella. Didn't know you had a boyfriend." Mike said uneasily, eyeing Edwards looming height. Mike was probably about five-foot-eight next to Edward's six-foot-four.

"She does." Edward stated simply. Raising an eyebrow in his direction.

"Uhm, yea." Mike swallowed hard, "I have to err… go… you know… do that… thing?" he pointed down the hallway then put his hand to the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. He stood there for a few more seconds while Bella raised her eyebrows and gave him a confused look. Mike quickly turned on his heels and marched down the hallway.

Edward stared at the doorway after Mike was gone. He turned and looked at Bella, his eyes wide with confusion.

"Please, tell me he's not always like that." He said incredulously.

"Yea, He's just a kid though." Bella shrugged.

"Not much younger than you though, is he?"

Bella stared at him, irrationally angry for a flash of a second. She quickly turned it.

"You'll learn very quickly, Mr. Mason; that I am _anything_ but a child." She put heavy emphasis on the word 'anything' giving the letters a double meaning that even Edward couldn't miss. He swallowed quickly, regaining his suddenly scattered composure. She winked at him and seated herself at a chair in the front hall.

Bella zipped up the same boots she had worn the day before, her favorite pair. Edward watched as the zipper made its way along her calf against her touch. She seemed to be doing everything in slow motion. To tease him? Edward wasn't sure.

"Ready to go?" Bella stood and asked him calmly, as if that extremely seductive moment had not occurred.

Edward cleared his throat quickly and nodded to her. Once again, attempting to regain his composure. Bella did strange things to him. He'd never really felt this way before, so he wasn't sure of quite what was going on. It was an odd feeling, but he wanted to protect her from everything, shield her from any harm. He wanted to carry her everywhere and hold her in his arms. He wanted to never stop kissing her. He wanted to spend every penny of his money on her, just to never see her stop smiling. Most of all though, Edward wanted to tell her how he felt.

She linked her arm through his and they walked down the stairs together, of course, not before seeing Mike poke his head out the door and flip Edward off.

"So where are we headed, Mr. Mason?" Bella asked, leaning into his shoulder. It was late November and snow was just beginning to fall. The air was chilly and all across the city New Yorkers were in a rush to buy this season's new winter jacket.

Edward was dressed a little more casually today than last night. He had on a pair of dark wash, straight legged jeans over polished black shoes, and his button down was un-tucked this time. Though his whole wardrobe looked like it had been bought from a downtown department store. It was neatly pressed and utterly spotless.

"I was thinking a walk through central park. Then maybe you could show me this comfy little café you're always talking about." Edward answered her. His hands were shoved deep into his leather jacket's pockets to escape the chilled November air.

"Sounds like a plan." Bella said casually.

They walked in silence together, arms linked, watching joggers in tight spandex run down the harbor with IPod earphones glued to their heads. They watched as a woman rollerbladed past, pushing a covered baby carriage in front of her. They witnessed an intense make-out session that two teens were having behind a closed over building.

Bella leaned her head against Edward's shoulder as they walked down the path slowly. Leaves were still falling off the trees, though most were bare now. Edward's hair color looked exactly the same as fall sunlight filtering through the trees, Bella thought, as a leaf fluttered down around them. A bright orange with shades of brown and red through-out.

"So," Edward began, "Tell me what you do for a living. I know you work at a magazine, but I don't know which one or where."

"I work for a magazine called American Photo. I'm really into photography so part of my job is writing articles about photography and then actually taking the picture to go with the article. I do both." She summarized.

"Photography…" Edward mused, "That's why your apartment is done the way it is. It's your artistic manner that calls forth the brooding darkness of cool colors." He half-joked.

"You seem to know a lot about psychology." Bella assumed.

"I had to take a couple courses about it in med-school." He shrugged.

"Med-school? You told me you were currently unemployed."

"I am." He said defensively, as if Bella had been accusing him of a lie. "I've recently completed my residency and now I'm being transferred to a new hospital in the city, but while all these files are being moved, I've decided to take a 2 week break. Coincidently enough, when you asked me about my occupation, it was the beginning of that two week hiatus. I'm starting at Lennox Hill on Wednesday."

Bella gaped at him for moment, trying to realize what he was telling her. They were walking past the Conservatory Pond and Bella could see the top of the hospital, just beyond a few buildings, on Park Avenue. She'd lived in New York for a long time, and knew a lot of the buildings that surrounded Central Park. It was her favorite place to go to capture candid's of people walking past and the only place in the city that held habitat to some animals.

"You're a doctor?" Bella asked, slightly astonished.

"It's a living." He said modestly.

"Any other super powers I should know about?" Bella teased.

Edward sighed.

"This is why I never really tell anyone. I don't like it when people play up my job. I don't save lives, I extend them. I don't cure patients; I rid them—usually temporarily—from illnesses. I'm not god, for every life I do extend, I usually end one more.

"I'm a trauma doctor. That means that when there's an emergency, I treat someone as best I can if they don't need surgery. If they do, then I treat them after they get out of surgery. Bella, a lot of people die under my care. It's not always because of me, but still. You always wish there could have been something else to be done. But there isn't."Edward said solemnly.

"There wasn't anything I could do." He whispered quietly to himself. Bella wasn't sure if she was supposed to have heard that. She wanted to change the subject, but she wanted to say something to him as well. Something that would make the sudden guilt in his eyes disappear. But she didn't know what.

"I'm sorry." She said in a soft breath.

Edward snapped his head up and look toward her, a rueful smile crossing his lips.

"It's not your fault. Don't apologize."

"It's not yours either." Bella hedged.

"No, but it is my problem, not yours. No need to worry about me." He smiled at her and turned them onto a walk-road that would lead them down to West 114th Street, and the warm inviting liberty of Grounds, Bella's favorite coffee shop and the place where she first met Edward.

By the time they made it into the cozy, warm-colored shop Bella had mostly forgotten Edward's odd behavior about his job. Edward seemed to have forgotten about it as well due to his constant chatter to Bella about music and a good taste in food. Bella hadn't even noticed the sun beginning to set until they were in the soft yellow light of Grounds.

She ran up to the counter and paid for drinks before Edward had even completely entered the café—Bella had purposefully ask him his favorite drink for this very reason. He gave her an irritated look before he picked up the two mugs and navigated around the café to the smaller, quieter back section of the coffee bar.

He set her drink at one end of the table and pulled the chair out, still holding onto his own mug. Bella looked at him and smiled wryly. She wasn't used to the gentlemanly fashion in which Edward acted. It was refreshing and sweet. He opened doors for her. He pulled out the chair for her. He always walked on the side of her that was closer to the road. It was a long forgotten gesture, but she noticed it. Men used to do it years ago. When big busses or cars came motoring past and splashed water all over the innocent pedestrians on the sidewalk, it was gentlemen fashion to walk closer to the road as to protect your girlfriend from getting wet. It was like placing your coat down on a puddle, long since forgotten—though Bella wouldn't put it past Edward—yet he still did it. Edward did it in such a way that it wasn't over-bearing. Bella hated it when a man thought she couldn't fend for herself. She was perfectly capable of opening a door or stepping over a puddle, Edward knew that. He was just polite. Bella loved him for it. He was old fashioned and yet still new.

"You didn't have to buy me coffee you know." Edward sighed as he rested himself on the bistro chair across from Bella.

"I didn't buy you coffee because I had to. I bought you coffee because I wanted to. You didn't have to buy me dinner last night." She argued.

"That's true. But still, it's my job now to buy you things." Edward smiled and Bella noticed the way his green eyes narrowed with amusement, crinkling at the corners.

"I really don't like gifts."

"You don't have to like them. You have to accept them. You wouldn't want to offend me would you?" His eyes widened in mock-horror, "Besides, I'm just going to show you what real gifts are. So I almost guarantee you'll like them." Edward winked once.

They sat in silence for a few seconds while Bella mulled over a good response to that and sipped at her latte. She set down the mug and stared into the creamy-brown of her beverage, skimming her finger along the rim of the cup. She was thinking about the question she was going to ask him earlier. Why hadn't she asked him yet? Why not now? Seemed like as good a time as any.

_Just wait until you get home. _Bella thought to herself. _What if it's something terrible? What if his past is really that bad? You don't want him to get upset in public. Or worse, you don't want someone to overhear anything._

Bella's mind battled over pros and cons of asking him the question. 'What happened in your past that made you so upset today? What's your catch?' She wanted to ask him, but wasn't sure if he would answer her. There was defiantly something between them, but she wasn't sure it was strong enough yet to be able to withstand a lot of stress and prying from her.

Edward was thinking about how he could tell Bella about his irrational need to see her face and to feel her soft skin against his. He almost needed her now, yet he'd known her for so short a time. He'd have to be patient. He didn't want to scare her off by being overbearing or clingy. The last thing he wanted was to be cut out of her life completely. He wanted to talk to her though. He need to say something. He needed to tell her how he felt, most of what he felt anyway.

Bella opened her mouth to invite Edward over to talk, but she couldn't get it out fast enough. Edward beat her to the punch.

"Do you want to come back to my place? You know, sit and talk for a bit?" His eyebrows were furrowed as if he had no idea what Bella would say. Yet his tone was casual, not the least nervous. Bella had a hard time figuring Edward out, he different than most other men she had been with. She just didn't quite know why yet.

"Yea, sure." She said lamely. "I have something I wanted to ask you anyway."

Edward's eyebrow raised but he didn't question her. He stood and held out his hand to help her up. Bella took it and together they walked into the street. Edward hailed a cab and opened the door, ushering Bella into the back seat. She climbed in and scooted over as to give him room to join her. He climbed in and relayed an address off, closing the door—and most of the noise—behind him.

Edward had an almost grave look on his face, like he was worried about something that was close to him. Bella stared at him questioningly, wondering what was wrong.

"Are you alright?" She asked him.

His head shook once, as if ridding itself of a particularly nasty thought. He looked at her and smiled, though it didn't touch his eyes.

"I'm ok." He nodded.

Edward placed his arm around Bella and pulled her into his side. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he breathed a sigh of what sounded like relief to Bella. He kissed her hair gently and then laid his own head against hers.

They stopped in front of a giant apartment building a few moments later and it took Bella some time before she realized they weren't stuck in traffic, that this must be where Edward had directed him to go. Edward paid the cabby and they both climbed out. Bella looked around herself at all the buildings with doormen and an awning hanging out to the curb.

A man in a black and white uniform walked forward and nodded at Edward.

"Evening Mr. Mason." He said in a respectful tone. "Is this the girl you were talking about earlier?" He stage-whispered to Edward.

"Yes, it is Jim. Bella, this is Jim. Jim, this is Bella Swan." He introduced them. Bella took his hand and shook it. He smiled at her. Jim was an elderly man. Probably in his late fifties. Under his black bellman's hat he had a shock of white hair. His face was creased with age, but he had an entirely fraternal air about him. He just seemed grandfatherly.

Edward and Jim chatted for a few moments as Bella glanced past them into the hall of the apartment ahead of them. Behind the double glass doors was a grand marble floor and a gleaming grand oak staircase. The walls were paneled and polished neatly and the lights were golden and sparkling. There was furniture in the foyer was all in a historical Victorian style, all the wood shining and looking brand new. Bella was reminded of the entrance way at the high-class hotel Edward had taken her to yesterday. All expensive looking, yet subtle at the same time.

"Going up, Mr. Mason, Ms. Swan?" Jim asked Edward. His words pulled Bella from her careful examination of the foreign building. There was no way she would ever go into that building in her life. It was too high-class for a girl like her.

"Yes, thank you Jim." Edward nodded. Bella started towards the street again, not really comprehending what Edward and Jim were talking about.

"Whoa, where do you think you're going?" Edward asked.

"Uhm, I don't know. Where do you live?" Bella asked, realizing she had never asked.

Edward gave her a look that was clearly confused and cocked his head to the left slightly.

"Right here." He said slowly, motioning to the building in front of them, the one Bella had been examining.

"Really?" She asked.

"I wouldn't lie to you." Edward laughed.

"But it's so… high-class." Bella said lamely.

"Oh, and I'm not?" He joked. "Anyway, you haven't seen anything yet, come on." And with that, he pulled her through the doors that Jim was now holding open and down the elevator at the top of the wooden staircase. He pressed the button for the top floor and nodded to Jim as the doors began to close.

Bella didn't miss the wink Edward sent down to Jim, or the way Jim laughed and mouthed the words, "Be Good." Back at him.

_**Ok, so there we go. Chapter two. I have no idea what to think of this chapter. I like it because to learn a lot about the two characters, but they don't really do a whole lot. I dunno. Next chapter you find out a bit more about Edward's past, but we don't really get the whole story until later. This is the longest chapter I've ever posted before. I'm not usually into to writing like supper long chapters… but with this story… I just kind wrote. Yaya Automatic Development! **_

_**Uhm review and you know… stuff. Hope you liked it. If you didn't… Tell me why?**_

_**:) Have a super – awesome night my lovies.**_

_**~Jamie**_


	3. I Am Vulnerable

_**Ok, first off: Total props go to my Beta, Stavanger1. She took this chapter, plowed through all my numerable spelling errors and grammatical issues, and then added things here and there that made it the best it can be. Thank you hun. :)**_

_**Secondly (is that a word?): Grab your tissues ladies (and possible gents), for this next chapter is a tear jerker, for me at least. Please keep an open mind and know that all loose ends shall be tied up eventually and to view this as if you were reading a book. If this were a book you would just have to forge ahead until your questions were answered. Thanks to all who reviewed last chapter, hopefully you will again :). **_

Bella ran her fingers through her hair as Edward slid his key into the golden doorknob set into the white apartment door before them. She heard the distinctive _click_ from the door being unlocked and Edward let the door swing forward. He threw his keys into a black dish that was set on a table beside the door. All the lights were off and Bella could only see a few pieces of furniture at the end of the room, where a window allowed for the constant New York light to stream into the apartment.

Edward opened a closet to the right of the door and slung his jacket on a hook, then proceeded to take Bella's for her, hanging it next to his own. He flicked on a light, and Bella's eyes widened as she gasped quietly. Edward glanced back to make sure everything was alright and gave her a sheepish look when he saw the expression of awe and admiration on her face.

The apartment was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. The room she was standing in was colored in a theme of black and white; all sharp angles with refined furniture. There was tasteful, abstract art placed meticulously about the room, both on the side tables next to the black leather couches, and hanging on the wall above the entertainment system. A breakfast nook and a black counter-topped island separated the living room and kitchen. The kitchen was also done in black and white, with black countertops and white cabinets, however all the appliances were stainless steel, and complimented the room nicely. Off to the right was a black, wrought-iron, spiral staircase that must have led up to a second floor.

Bella had never been inside such a huge apartment before. These were the kinds that the celebrities had, and the kind you saw in movies.

"Since when do apartments come with two stories?" Bella wondered out loud.

"Since people could afford them," Edward chuckled.

She dropped her gaze from the staircase to look at Edward. He was smiling wryly at her with his hands in his pockets. He seemed to be very modest about his living accommodations. She tilted her head to the side slightly so she could look at Edward in his element from a different angle. He seemed to fit here. This apartment just seemed to suit him. He was upper-class New York, but he didn't boast about it. But there was something missing. This wasn't entirely Edward. There was something that he was, that this apartment was not.

Edward raised an eyebrow at her with a bemused expression on his face.

"What?" he asked her slightly amused.

"Nothing… Just thinking of how well this place suits you," Bella shrugged.

"Do you like it?" he asked, sounding nervous.

"Of course I like it. What's not to like?"

"I don't know. Sometimes…it just feels too clean, you know? Like no one lives here. Sometimes the hospital feels homier than the stark white of these walls. It's too cold in here. Not the temperature, the apartment itself is too cold. Something's missing," he trailed off, looking at the room around him and Bella suddenly understood what he meant, and what it was missing.

"It's missing compassion," Bella muttered and Edward nodded as he took in the white walls and stainless kitchen. "It's missing… love?" she questioned, more to herself than anything.

Edward looked back at her then, his eyes narrowed in concentration. He took a few steps forward, back to where she was standing at the door, and took hold of her arm. He dragged her into the middle of the room and told her to stay there. She gave him a questioning look, but complied. Edward walked back to the door and turned, looking straight at her. His face lit up and he smiled his big, lopsided smile at her and sighed in contentment.

"That's better," he laughed.

"What are you talking about?" Bella questioned, laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

"You. It was missing you," he said. "It looks a lot warmer now, by the way," he smiled. Bella just rolled her eyes, but she could feel her cheeks warm at the words he was saying. Edward did such strange things to her. She didn't quite know what to think, let alone feel, around him.

Edward took her into his arms and she forgot why she had come here in the first place. Forgot what she had been determined to do that morning when she first decided to go out with him again.

Edward placed his lips over hers and pulled her closer to him. Her heart raced and her head spun with the intensity of his kiss. Under his shirt where her hands were placed on his chest, she could feel the quick beat of his heart. She felt her knees weaken and she clung to Edward's arms, not wanting to break the kiss.

Edward pulled away after a few moments and Bella wobbled uneasily. He held onto her elbow and frowned. He was worried.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked with a frightened edge to his voice.

"I'm fine," Bella assured him, though her voice gave her away.

He pulled her over to one of the leather couches and sat her down, taking the cushion next to hers.

"Really, Edward, I'm alright. I think I just forgot to breath."

Edward gave her an incredulous look and then laughed, creating a sound somewhere between humor and amazement.

"You really are an exceptionally unique creature, you know," he mused. "I've never in my life met someone like you before."

Bella felt herself blush with embarrassment. The way he said it, like he was saying it more to himself, to assure himself more than anything, is what made her blush. He made her feel like she was the only thing in the world, the only thing that mattered. When Edward looked into her eyes, she felt as if she was the only thing he saw, the only thing he noticed.

And in truth, she _is_ all Edward saw. All he felt was Bella. She was his missing piece, yet he didn't know how to tell her. If he told her how he felt he would have to tell her everything else as well, his past with all his messy mistakes, misfortunes and misadventures. He would have to tell her everything he'd kept a secret for so long. Was he ready to do that? He wasn't sure if she would accept the beaten and broken Edward. She'd only known the perfectly composed and collected Edward. He couldn't afford to breakdown in front of her. He couldn't afford for her to see his messy past, just yet.

Bella was gazing into his eyes, almost looking into his soul. There was something there that didn't add up. She wanted to know about him, wanted to know why there was something missing inside him. She wondered what had happened to him to turn him into this smooth and emotionless person. What kinds of horrors happen to people, to make them this good of an actor? He was always acting, _that _she could see, but he was holding something back and she wanted to know what it was.

"What are you thinking about right now?" Bella asked suddenly. She knew it was a girl question, but she wanted to know why his features were so torn. Was something undecided in his mind?

The question caught Edward slightly off guard and he took a second to find an answer that wouldn't sound too obsessive or possessive.

"I'm thinking of what to do next," he said simply.

Bella narrowed her eyes in confusion.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"Exactly what you think it should."

"I wish you would just tell me, I'm not good at decrypting things."

"I mean, I don't really know where to go from here. I'm indecisive about something. I'm afraid if I tell you, you won't see me the same as you do now."

"First impressions are everything, you know, and you handled that quite well," she said as her lips turned up into a slight grin.

"Sometimes other things can make lasting impressions as well, though. I don't want to change the way you see me. If I tell you what's on my mind, you'd probably freak out and leave. I really don't want you to leave, Bella. You are different and I don't know why yet, but I can feel it. There's something about you that's meant to be with me. There was a reason why we met on that chat site, a reason why you walked into that café wearing the same thing as the girl in the ad. You think everything is coincidence? It's not. There's something about us that's meant to be. I've known that since I first met you." Edward sighed, he'd told her a lot more than he'd meant to. Now he would have to pay the price and tell her everything.

"But, there's so much I don't know about you. There's so much you don't know about me," Bella argued. It's not that she didn't feel the same; she was just trying to be rational. How did you fall in love with someone after meeting them in person only twice? She didn't want to be silly or naive about anything, least of all this.

"You said it yourself last night, 'only fools fall in love'. I'm the fool who falls in love with someone before he even knows them. I'm not a fool, however, who falls in love and then denies it."

"Edward, I don't even know how old you are, where you were born, when you were born! What's your mother's name? How can you afford this penthouse apartment after you just finished med-school?" Bella asked, exasperated. The questions were all rhetorical in a sense; she was trying to prove a point. The point was how absurd it was to fall in love after only meeting each other face to face twice, even if they _had_ gotten to know each other over the web for the past three months.

"My name is Edward Anthony Mason. I'm 26. I was born and raised in Chicago on June 20th, 1982—I'm a Gemini, by the way. My mother's name was Elizabeth and—for good measure—my father's name was Edward as well." Edward took a deep breath, "I can afford this apartment because of an insane amount of money I inherited a few years back. Is that everything? Love is irrational you know, you don't decide who you love. You just… love who you love."

Bella almost ignored the last part. She had caught onto a few key words Edward had said.

"Was?" she quoted.

"What?" Edward said slowly, looking confused.

"You said your mother's name 'was' not 'is'," she clarified carefully.

"Oh… yeah, I did, didn't I?" Edward looked his hands and played with the strap of his watch.

"What happened to her?" Bella asked.

Now he'd done it. He would have to tell her now. Edward found he couldn't—wouldn't—lie to Bella. There was just something about her that didn't seem to allow for lies. He just couldn't be anything for her that wasn't honest and complete.

"She died a few years ago," he muttered.

"I'm sorry," she whispered back. As she reached out to take his hand, he caught it before she could place it on his wrist. He held it tightly and stared at their entwined fingers like he never wanted to let go.

"That's not all," he began again. "I killed her. It was my fault she died."

Bella gaped at him. She knew she should be frightened by what he said, especially from the way he was holding onto her, but she couldn't feel scared sitting next to him. She felt safer now than she ever had before. She just knew that he wouldn't hurt her, couldn't hurt her.

"That can't be true," Bella argued.

"I wish it wasn't, but it is." He paused and toyed with her fingers. His face was blank, but something was burning, wanting to be let out. She knew he wanted to tell her, he was just afraid she would run.

"Tell me what happened, Edward. I'm not going anywhere."

He hesitated for a brief moment, then looked up at her and nodded once.

"I was nineteen," Edward said. "I was just a little younger than you. I had the whole world ahead of me. My father was wealthy, and willing to send me to any university of my choice. I had a beautiful young girlfriend who hung off my arm at all the parties my socialite family took me to. I had a sister who I got along great with. She and I were best friends. I had the perfect upper New York lifestyle. Drink away your problems, just don't let the media see. That was how it went back then. We could do whatever we wanted, so long as we didn't embarrass the family.

"My mother was a socialite, but not like most of the other ones. She didn't really care about the drama and gossip. She cared about her family and her friends. She didn't see the material worth in things; she just wanted a life that was worth living. My father bought her the sun and the moon. He was so in love. It was sweet to watch them, you know. They had been married for 25 years and it was still as if they were newly-weds.

"My father died in the attack on the World Trade Center. He had been attending a meeting there, just like he had every single Tuesday before hand. My mother just sort of… withered away after that. She was never whole again, and I could see how much pain she was in. He was her world, her everything. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't move. She would just sit on her bed all day and stare at a photo she had of him. Every time I came in the room, she would tell me she loved me. She would tell me that life was too short and we couldn't take for granted the small amount of time we had.

"My life became a mess then. I had lost my father and was losing my mother. I drank a lot and did a lot of things I'm really not proud of. I was stupid and young and didn't know how to cope with a loss as great as this. My sister was left alone to fend for herself—she's your age, you see. I got into it bad with the wrong sort of people and I knew that it hurt my mother even more to see me go so steeply downhill. There was nothing she could do though.

"I came home one night to my mother lying on her bed, barely breathing. She had taken an entire bottle of anti-depressants and was dying before my eyes. I ran to her bed and tried to wake her up. I tried to bring her back. Her eyes half opened and we had a final conversation that I'll never forget. I asked her what she had done and she told me she was going to go see daddy for a while because she missed him so much. She asked me to forgive her for being so selfish, but I just couldn't find it in me to be angry with her in the first place."

'_You were always so strong when your father was around. You always wanted to make him proud. What changed about you?' she asked me._

'_I can't do this alone, mom," I replied._

'_I think that's the only way you can now. You have to take care of your sister. You have to grow up and find your own way around things. I know you can do it Edward; you were always the strong one. I trust you.'_

"I didn't want her to leave me too. It felt like that was all anyone had been doing lately, but I listened to her, vowing I would never do things again that would disprove her trust in me. When her breathing became more labored and her eyes began to close, I reached for the phone to call an ambulance, kicking myself for not calling sooner. She reached for my hand and pushed the phone away with the little strength she had left."

'_Don't,' she whispered. _

'_But mom, I don't want you to go, I love you.' I told her, tears welling in my eyes._

'_If you really love me, you'll let me go. Just let me go Edward.'_

"My tears fell freely when she said that, and I felt myself sob. I knew I had to let her go; she was in so much pain all the time. This was what she wanted, what she needed. So I didn't make the call. I waited with her until the last breath escape her tired lips. I waited until the last words past through her mouth. She told me she loved me and told me to make sure my sister grew up to be as strong and excellent as I was.

"I waited until that last breath made its way out. I kissed her forehead and she died with a smile on her lips. It was the first smile I had seen from her in almost a year. I like to think that he met her, that my father came and got her from where ever she was and took her back to where ever they went.

"I called an ambulance then and twisted the truth a little. But I told my sister exactly what had happened when she got home. I was expecting her to be as mad at me as I was at myself, but she wasn't. She gave me a hug and told me she was glad to have me back, and I was glad to be back with her. Inside, I was mad at myself. I hated myself. It was entirely my fault. Not only had I not saved her when I could have, but I had been the reason she had killed herself in the first place. I had abandoned her when she needed me most. I had run away and resorted to alcohol, and parties, and drugs, while she mourned over her forever lost love. Maybe if I hadn't been so self-centered she would have been okay over time. Maybe if I had acted like a normal human, she would still be with me today."

Edward took a deep, shaky breath at the end of his story and put his face in his hands. He rubbed vigorously, like he was trying to wipe away all the guilt he felt for his late mother. Bella didn't quite know what to say. Both her parents were alive. Mind you, they were each on either side of the country, but at least they were there when she needed them. Edward had no one. He was alone and broken, torn to pieces by his irrational guilt.

"Edward, didn't you listen to your own story? Your mother died because she missed your father so much it hurt. There was nothing you could have done about it." Bella tried to soothe him. She didn't want him to be upset.

Edward drew his face away from his hands and looked at her. His eyes were red and swollen and there were tear tracks down his cheeks.

"Bella, I could have done something. There is always something more to be done!" he said angrily.

Bella flinched at his sudden rage, but didn't back down. He was glaring at her, as if she had just insulted him outright. She reached her hand forward very carefully and placed it on his cheek. His expression changed suddenly from anger to grief and the tears fell from his closed eyes again. She wiped them away, tears falling from her own eyes. It made her sad that he was feeling such guilt over something that was never his fault.

"This isn't your fault, Edward. You did nothing wrong. You _know_ you did nothing wrong. You _know_ you had no other choice. You _know_ that if Elizabeth was sitting here today, she would be in as much pain as she was 7 years ago. You need to accept the fact that it isn't your burden. You can't feel guilty over something that was never your fault in the first place."

Edward looked into her face. He looked more tired than she had ever seen him. He was worn out from carrying this weight on his shoulder, weight that was never intended for him. He nodded to her once, and then he scooped her up into the cradle of his arms and Bella wrapped her arms around him, just wanting him to know she was there.

Edward shimmied sideways a little and then let himself lie down, lying Bella on top of himself. Her head rested on his chest and he was finally complete. He had found that piece that could help him escape from the hole in his universe where guilt and loneliness had ruled. She had found that hole and was stitching it up neatly.

She lay there, listening to his heart for a long time. His breathes became regular and a soft snore escaped his perfect lips. He was damaged and broken, but she wanted him anyway. She needed him. He had showed her that he was vulnerable and weak, just like everyone else. She couldn't turn him away now. He had given her a gift in his complete honesty and she didn't want to refuse it.

Bella climbed off the couch and proceeded to shake Edward lightly to wake him up. He sighed and yawned loudly and opened his sleepy eyes to her.

"Come on, you're going to hurt your back sleeping like that. Let's get you to bed," she said, holding out a hand to help him up. Edward nodded once, his eyes only half open.

He took her hand and pulled himself up, leading the way to his bedroom. He opened the door and stripped off his shirt, jeans and socks before Bella could even think about turning around to give him privacy. He was left in just a white wife-beater and a pair of black boxers with the Dolce and Gabbana logo written in white across the elastic waist band.

Bella tucked him in and kissed him on the forehead gently. His eyes closed slightly at her touch but he remained awake. When she pulled away and turned to leave, Edward called out to her quickly, before she could get far.

"You're going?" he asked, sounding almost desperate.

"It's late, Edward," she said. She truly didn't want to leave, but didn't want to just hop on into bed with him.

"I know. You'll never get a cab at this hour," he said, though she thought there was another reason he wanted her to stay.

"I'll call the company, they'll send one." She turned to go again.

"Bella!" He yelled after her. She turned back and faced him. He was sitting up in his bed and Bella couldn't help but notice the way his muscles were taut under his white tank-top.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't want you go," he replied. "I'll sleep on the floor if you'd like, I just don't want to be alone tonight."

It felt like someone had kicked her in the gut. The way he seemed so innocent and vulnerable, his entire composed façade washed away for a night.

She nodded and noted the way his arms relaxed a little. Edward edged towards the side of the bed, dragging a pillow with him.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Sleeping on the floor," he stated as if it was obvious.

"Edward, I don't want you to sleep on the floor," she sighed. She glanced around the room as Edward moved back towards the center of the bed and replaced the pillow, then she grabbed Edward's discarded button down shirt and swapped it for her jeans and top. She climbed in beside him and he encircled her in his arms. Her head placed itself back on his chest and she started to count his heartbeats. This was where she belonged. This was where she wanted to be. She really did love him, she knew that now.

"Edward?" she whispered.

"Hmm?" he hummed back.

"I love you," she breathed so quietly it was barely heard.

"I know," he muttered, and it was the most romantic thing he could have possible uttered at that moment.

Bella fell asleep in his arms, knowing she both love and was loved in return. Now there would always be a spot for her in this world. Now, most importantly, she knew all was well in this point in time. She loved him.

_**While writing this chapter I actually almost cried. It got close there while writing how guilty Edward felt about his mother. This chapter was just a little bit about why Edward is who he is. He's sarcastic and cocky on the outside, but on the inside, he's just as vulnerable as the rest of us. **_

_**Anyway, I'd appreciated it if you'd review. :) I actually really like this chapter. Even though it's sad. I seriously am a masochist I swear. :P Thanks guys. **_

_**~Jamie**_


	4. I Am Curious

_**Hello my dears. I've had writers block like nobody's business. It's a little better though now. I knew where I wanted the next chapter to go… just wasn't sure how I was ever going to write a chapter long enough to serve as an actual chapter. This chapter is shorter than most, and I bet you anything that next chapter will be like… really long. I just needed a filler chapter between one sob story and the next. **_

_**Anyway, a super giant thank you to my Beta Stavanger1 :) She's done an awesome job—Again—with this chapter. Thank you so much Anne-Marie!**_

Bella woke up before Edward did the next morning. She glanced at the clock and groaned. It was only seven on a Sunday morning; so much for the day of rest.

She rolled on her side and faced Edward. He was sleeping peacefully and she could see the innocent and childlike appearance still remaining in his features. He had opened up so much last night. More than he had probably ever opened up before. She wasn't going to take advantage of that. She knew he felt different about her than he had most other girls, she felt the same about him. But Edward had proved it to her last night by telling her his darkest secret and his deepest feelings. Could Bella open up the way he had to her?

She watched him as he slept; all the cocky pretenses washed away by the innocence of complete honesty in his sleep. He was like a stray puppy in need of someone to love him and take care of him more than anything else. He needed someone to love him for who he was, someone who could help drown out the guilt he harbored. That unnecessary guilt he felt over things out of his control. He seemed to always take the blame for anything that went wrong in his world, and that was a _hell_ of a lot to shoulder. No one man could do it, nor should they, not even Edward in all his perfection. But he wasn't perfect. He was the same as everyone else, only he had put up a brick wall and somehow Bella had been able to chip a crack into it. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

Bella stood and adjusted the shirt she had stolen from Edward last night. She wasn't really comfortable with wearing just her underwear all through Edward's penthouse apartment. She threw her jeans back on yet left his shirt on. She placed the collar next to her nose and took a deep breath, engulfing her senses in his scent. She smiled and proceeded back down the hallway. She didn't really want to snoop, yet she was curious about what she could discover inside his huge apartment.

She walked up the wrought-iron stair case slowly, feeling the texture of the cool metal on the soles of her feet and toes. Her head poked through the ceiling of the first floor and onto the second floor. She had done and entire three-sixty by the time she dismounted the staircase.

It was a library. Thousands upon thousands of books were stacked neatly on each shelf. There must have been thirty book cases in the place. Each case harbored 6 shelves and stood about eight feet tall. They were arranged back-to-back and bordered each wall. Ladders on wheels were placed at random intervals throughout the library, and wooden stools stood here and there.

In the center of the room sat a large mahogany desk with a leather top. It was an authentic librarian's desk with a gold book-lamp on the corner, a bucket of gold and black pens, wooden in-and-out paper tray and a stack of assorted books strewn across the top. A maroon wingback chair sat behind the desk, its crushed velvet still preserved to perfection. Two maroon, crushed velvet couches sat facing each other on either side of a glass coffee table in front of the desk, with books strategically placed on the side tables as well as on the coffee table. The room was lit by a few dim, yellow bulbs hung over the shelves, and by the lamps that sat on each side table. They whole library had a Victorian feel to it. The place felt like it had come right out of the 1850's.

Bella was in awe of the room. It was all she could have ever dreamed of. She loved books more than anything and had often wanted to write one but lacked the inspiration and the patience. Her fingers ran across the spines of novels on the shelves as she strolled towards the wingback chair. She sat down in the seat Edward himself must have sat in while he studied, and took the book he must have currently been reading into her hands; _Through the Looking-Glass_ by Lewis Carol. This was the sequel to _Alice in Wonderland;_ however it was quite different and made no reference to any events earlier on in the series. In fact, the book was quite the opposite from the first. Bella studied the cover. It was bound in red leather that was cracked and aged in several places. As she flipped open the first page and felt her eyes widened as she noted it was a first edition. This book alone must have been worth more than $3,000. She scanned the room, curious as to how much Edward had invested in this library. Apparently it was a lot.

"It was my sister's favorite book_._" Bella jumped. Edward was standing at the top of the stairs, still in his boxers and undershirt. His bed-head hair stuck up on one side in a crazed sort of Mohawk, yet he still managed to look like the most beautiful man in all of New York. Hell, in the entire continental US.

"I'm sorry…" Bella said quickly standing up and setting the book back in the exact spot she'd found it. "I didn't mean to pry. It's just—"

"It's alright, Bella. What's mine is yours," he interrupted.

"Seriously!" he added when he noticed her look of disbelief at his words. "You like books, don't you?" he hedged.

"Yes," she answered simply.

She looked back down at the desk and the first edition of _Through the Looking-Glass._

"She liked it because near the end Alice becomes queen." He must have seen her confusion because he continued by saying, "My sister and Lewis Carol's character share the same name. As I would read Alice a chapter of the book each night she would sit there and picture it was _her_ running after a white rabbit. It was always her favorite…," he trailed off, still looking at the book.

"What happened to her? To Alice, I mean."

Edward looked thoughtful for a moment.

"You know, when they say 'what goes around, comes around' they really aren't kidding," he said. This didn't really answer her question but rather raised a fair few more instead.

Edward didn't say anything else for a few moments. He walked over to a shelf and examined it for a moment, then pulled a book out. He sat down in the wingback chair and opened the novel. Bella wasn't quite sure what it was or who it was by, but she didn't feel like asking seeing as he was too lost in the world of literature. That was not something to interrupt after all.

She quickly skipped down the stairs and into the kitchen to throw on a pot of coffee or tea or something. She noted the stainless-steel coffee machine right away and made a beeline for it at end of the counter. She must have opened every drawer and cupboard in the apartment before she finally found the canister of coffee and the filters for the basket. The coffee was placed in the filter, which was placed in the basket, which was secured into the machine, where the button was pressed.

Bella glanced at the stove-top clock and found it was eight now, finally normal people time. She watched as the water percolated its way to the bottom of the basket and into the glass pot that sat on the burner. She was thinking about Edward and the hundreds of books he had up there. How come she never pictured him as a reader? Did he not seem the type? The answer was a resounding "No". He came across as more of a hands-on person, the type to seek out his own adventure instead of reading about it in a book. Yet the more Bella thought about it, he _did_ seem like a reader.

Edward was turning out to be more than what she had expected. She knew the basics; who his favorite actor was, what his favorite music was, yet she didn't really know _him_. She found that she would be learning new and interesting things about him each and every day, and every day she would fall more and more in love with him until she would be positively overflowing with love for this magnificent creature of a man.

When you first fall in love, your brain usually tells you you're being foolish. When you fall in love with someone before you've met them, you're mind tells you it's on its way out because you've lost it. That's how Bella felt, like her brain moved out, like she'd lost her mind and all rational thinking.

She thought about how much she already loved Edward, though she barely knew him. She thought of how unreasonable love is and how she never _really_ had a choice in the matter. You love who you love and that's that.

As if listening to her thoughts about him, Edward approached from behind and snaked his arms around Bella's waist. He planted a kiss on her neck and supported her as she leaned back into his chest.

"I think my clothes look better on you than they do on me." Edward's lips brushed over her earlobe as he whispered.

Bella craned her neck and caught his mouth quickly, capturing it in a sweet kiss. Her arm reached behind them and rested on the back of Edward's head, pulling him closer to her.

The coffee percolator beeped, causing Bella to jump and break the kiss. Edward chuckled and rested his head on her shoulder, his arms still encircling her waist. She opened the three cupboards above her and closed them again. She had no idea where anything was in this place.

Edward reached an arm up and pulled open the cabinet door that was one right of the one she was looking in. It housed the mugs and cups. Bella looked back at him and he smiled at her, a genuinely happy smile. He stared at her with such adoration and longing, Bella couldn't help but feel loved and venerated in his presence.

"What?" She wondered what that particular look on his face was about.

"Nothing," Edward smiled, "I'm just having a great day."

"It's only like, eight in the morning," she laughed.

"It's been a damn good hour and a half."

She smiled and kissed him again and his hands held onto her hips. She turned in his embrace so she was facing him and stood as high as she could on her toes—which wasn't really that high at all. Edward chuckled slightly and Bella could feel the laugh reverberate in the back of her throat. He held onto her waist and lifted her lithely so she was seated on the counter and they were on equal levels. She laughed and kissed his cheek.

"Is my height beginning to hurt your posture?" she asked playfully.

He sent a crooked smile her way and his eyes crinkled in amusement which made Bella's stomach tighten. He was so beautiful and didn't really even know it.

"Nah, I just don't want you to fall over again," he joked.

Bella just rolled her eyes and pushed his shoulder a little. He laughed out loud and the sound made her head spin. He should laugh more often, it was such a lovely sound.

They stared at each other for a moment just memorizing each others features. Bella loved his emerald green eyes, his angular, square jaw, his full lips, the way his eyebrow arched perfectly when he talked to her. She also loved the new-found tenderness on his face. The feature she had not seen at first. There was something about his face that made you feel safe and wanted. Something that made you feel warm inside even when it was cold out.

The one thing Bella didn't love about his face was the guilt that still lurked there. She could see it, just brewing under the surface. She hadn't quite known what it was before, but now she knew; it was guilt.

Edward didn't deserve to feel this way over things he hadn't done, yet Bella believed he was the kind of guy who would shoulder everything, no matter who had done it. She wanted to cleanse away all of his guilt, all of his fears, all of his worries, all of his troubles. Anything that made him unhappy _she _wanted to rid him of.

She leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck. He took a step forward, standing between her legs, his hands on her waist.

"Bella," he muttered, "My beautiful, Bella."

She blushed and ran her fingertips up his neck and then back down again, running them under the neck of his shirt. He shivered but she knew he wasn't cold.

Bella raised her head from his and stared into his eyes. He stared back. The silence wasn't awkward and there was no tension in the air. His body relaxed against her touch and his hand came up to run across her cheek. They never broke their gaze and Bella knew they were both thinking the same thing.

"I love you," she mouthed silently at him.

"I love you," he mouthed back at her simultaneously.

It was the most intimate moment they had shared. There were no special effects needed to make this moment perfect. Her hands on his shoulders and his hands on her waist was all they needed. They fit together. They were right for each other. Bella didn't care to listen to her brain on this one, her heart was the dominate factor in this decision anyway, and her heart would never want anyone but Edward.

"Will you tell me something then?" Bella asked, leaning back.

"Anything," he said, pulling her hips in closer to him.

She smiled and pushed herself off the counter. She grabbed onto his hand and pulled him up the stairs behind her. She sat him down on one of the Victorian-style crushed velvet couches and looked deep into his perfect green eyes. They were like the color of emeralds, such a perfect green.

"What did you want to ask me?" Edward asked, almost laughing.

Bella stood from the couch but he remained seated. She ran her fingertips across the covers of the thousands of novels, just like she had in the morning. She loved the feel and the smell of books, of paper that was printed decades ago. She loved running her hands across the old leather-bound covers of books and up the creased spine of a well read volume. She could never actually crack the spine on a new book—the thought gave her shivers—but on old books it was almost customary to crease the spine. It showed that they were loved and read by many people, or even one person a hundred times. It didn't matter. As long as the words affected someone the way they were intended to be, then it didn't matter how many people had read the book. Five thousand people can read a single volume, but it won't mean a thing unless the book actually touches someone in a way that no other book has before.

Bella picked up an old copy of _A Christmas Carol_. The book was short, yet inspiring beyond many other books. The moral and message were the first of their kind, and the characters are famous to this day. Books were the one thing Bella could always trust. She had a few shelves in her room dedicated to books, yet Edward's collection put hers to shame many times over. She would love for him to let her borrow a few novels or let her come over and read.

Edward sat patiently on the sofa while she slowly scanned the shelf she was standing by. He didn't seem to mind waiting for her. He liked just being able to sit and observe her. He wanted nothing more than to discover the mystery of why she was so different, why he couldn't help but love her above all others.

Bella finally made her way to the desk. She slowly picked up the volume of _Through The Looking-Glass _ and went to sit back on the couch. Edward narrowed his eyes when she sat, yet said nothing. She had a feeling he knew what she was going to ask as he was staring at the book held in her hands. The cover had no title; there was no way to be sure what book it was until you opened it to the first preliminary page. Yet Bella felt that Edward had memorized the exact patterns that the leather had randomly created in itself. She felt as though Edward had read this book more than a hundred times before and taken more out of it than anyone in history.

"What happened to your sister Edward? What happened to your Alice?" Bella tapped the cover with her finger as she asked this.

Edward's face became a mask of horror and guilt, and Bella began to wonder if she really should make him live all this again.

"I don't really want to talk about it," he muttered lightly. He was looking at the cover of the book, not at Bella.

"Is it really that bad? What happened to her Edward?" she asked again. She wouldn't ask him a third time; she didn't want to push him.

"It's a long story. I fear you might actually hate me after it."

"It's impossible for me to hate you. I'm here to listen if you want to tell me."

"You do deserve to know what you're getting yourself into." Edward nodded, completely serious.

"I know exactly what I've gotten myself into, and I'm not turning back," she replied rather stiffly.

"You shouldn't be so quick to make up your mind. You really have no idea of the things I've done," he said solemnly.

"I know you aren't bad," she whispered simply, placing one of her hands on top of his.

He just nodded again and stared at the book on her lap.

"I don't even know where to start," Edward said, sounding despaired.

Bella instantly felt badly for ever bringing up this particular subject.

"From the beginning?" she asked timidly.

"Yea, that would probably be best." He turned her hand over and placed it between his before looking into her eyes for the first time in a while. She wanted to take away the pain he felt and wash away the guilt, yet she needed to know why he was so ashamed of his past before she could even begin to wipe away the unnecessary feelings from him.

"I guess it started a little while after my mom died," Edward began.

_**So I dunno. Not my favorite chapter, but still. I loved it, frankly because of the fact that Bella loves books. I would love nothing more than to have a library in my house. Like a real library. I have about three shelves full of books at the moment. But to me, that's not nearly enough. I love to read almost as much as I love to write. **_

_**I started reading **_**Through The Looking Glass**_** as soon as I was finished with this chapter. Lewis Carol was a genius… a pedophile… but a genius. I love his work, despite his not so fresh history. I suggest you all read his books and poems. I also started a new book called **_**Water for Elephants**_** by Sara Gruen. It's fantastic. I think I'm going to start recommending books now each week. I read more than a book a week. :) You can skip over that part in the Notes but I think if some of you are true readers you'll go out and look these books up. Hey recommend any books you love. I'll most likely read them. I love to read, and I read anything.**_

_**Anyway, this has been a long and extremely exhaustive note. So send me a PM or a review with your favorite books. Or just send a review for no other reason than to amuse me in my hour of blatant suicidal thoughts as I complete my chemistry homework. **_

_**I'll update sometime after Friday. For I have finals soon and I really need to finish all this blasted homework. I hate senior year. -.-'**_

_**~Jamie**_


	5. I Am Good For You

_**Alrighty. Here's the low-down. I'm in Florida at the moment (Yaya) and I have the shittiest signal known to human kind. So I've had an interesting time sending this to my beta and then posting it on here. So yea. **_

_**First of all, A hugenormous thank you to my super-awsome beta: Stavanger1. She really turned this piece of work around and made it presentable to all you readers out there that don't have the time to descipher my cryptic dislexic writing. Thank you :)!**_

**_Next... HOLY CRAP! THERE IS A REALLY CUTE BOY SITTING OPOSITE ME AS I WRITE THIS! MY GOD HE IS HOT! (Just thought you should all know.) Crist, Florida is my new favortie place due to their rich supply of shirtless boys. ;)_**

**_Lastly... A huge thank you to google maps. You'll find out why, at the end._**

**_ON TO THE CHAPTER I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY!_**

Edward sighed and turned Bella's hand over in his own, tracing the delicate lines that creased her palm. She was all he would ever want, so who was he to deny her when all she wanted from him was a simple explanation? She deserved to know he just didn't quite know how to start.

She already knew the basics of his past, though she knew nothing of what _really _went on, or just how deep he had really gotten. She knew nothing of the group he got caught up in, or the things he had done to try and escape the pain of losing his entire family.

Yet, the truth was; he hadn't lost the _entire_ family. Alice had always been there waiting in the sidelines, waiting for Edward to come back. He never did though.

He took the book from Bella's hands and flipped it open to a place that was worn down and had obviously been read many times before. He laughed and sighed, smiling brightly.

"But four young oysters hurried up,

Ready for their treat;

Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,

Their shoes were clean and neat –

And this was odd, because, you know,

They hadn't any feet."

Edward laughed loudly again after he'd read this.

"It was our little inside joke," he explained.

He chuckled and then continued, "The first time I ever read this to her, she spoiled it by shouting our right in the middle, 'but oysters haven't got any feet.' I told her to just wait until the poem was done but she was adamant that shell fish didn't have feet or arms, therefore they had no shoes or coats."

Bella laughed along with Edward. He turned the book over a few times and then set it down, suddenly having a very serious, almost tortured look on his face.

"Alice was just thirteen when my dad died. She was just a kid still. Had no idea what was going on or why it had happened. Just knew that dad had died and that mom was going down too." He ran a hand through his-still messed up-hair, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"When I got into it with the wrong kind of people, Alice covered for me. She saw all the shit I did and all the shit I did wrong. She never judged me though. She was so young. There were so many things that she didn't understand, and there were so many things that had wronged her." At this admission he sighed and closed his eyes.

"Alice had always been a daddy's girl. I think out of the two of us, my father's death brought her more pain than it did me. I assumed the position of a wronged and justly corrupt youth, whereas she just stayed at home and took care of my suicidal and dying mother." Edward opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling.

"I don't exactly know when it was that Alice changed towards me. She had always covered and never judged. But, about 3 months before my mom died, she sort of… changed." His face became hard as stone and his eyes narrowed into sharp guilt.

"After my mom died, I did try to get out of the group I was in. It's not as easy as just up and leaving, you know. Quicks wasn't all too happy about it. They don't really like me in Brooklyn anymore, but Manhattan is the place to be anyway." Edward laughed once. A cold, hard, strained noise that brought forth features in his face that hadn't been there before. Dark shadows lined his eyes and a permanent grimace was etched into his jaw.

"I got out of it. I left life of punks and pimps and prostitutes. It was a long road, and more painful than you would expect. I got off the drugs, I quit the sex, I stopped the crime and I came home to take care of my little sister. Of course, by then, she was fifteen and had developed a million and one reasons to hate me and everything I had done. I deserved it too. I had abandoned her and left her—a fourteen-year old—to take care of a chemically unbalanced mother."

He shook his head, a few stray locks landing over his right eye. Bella could feel the involuntary desire to brush it out of the way for him.

"Alice went out a lot after that. I never really found out exactly what she did all those nights. I would get mad at her for staying out too late or for not even coming home at all. And she would give me the same excuse every-single-time, _'It never stopped you.'_" Edward let go of Bella's hand and ran his fingers through his unruly hair once more. His eyes were closed as he took a deep calming breath.

Bella stared into his face, a sad frown on her pale white skin. She reached out to touch him, but hesitated, resting her hand on her knee instead. She didn't quite know if closeness was something he wanted right now.

Edward's hands came down quickly and smacked against his thighs. His eyes opened and he looked straight at her. He looked more dejected and hopeless than she had ever seen him before. How had this happened? He looked like such a put-together man from the outside, yet inside the guilt and depression was tearing him apart.

Edward stared at her, his eyes smoldering with acute pain and many years of suffering.

"Of course it was my fault. She blamed me for her mistakes, and she had a good reason to. I had messed up so bad, it affected the entire family." He reached out a hand and Bella let him pull her close to him.

Closeness comforted Edward. It had been so long since anyone had really hugged him and meant it. He wished that Bella would come to him on her own, instead of wait for him to pull her close. Bella didn't want to seem too touchy. This was a delicate subject and the last thing she wanted to do was to pressure him in anyway.

They sat in silence for a long time. Edward was looking past everything, daydreaming… or rather a day-nightmare. Bella didn't quite know what to say. What did you say to someone in this situation: 'Oh, it's alright… I bet you she'll forgive you,'?

"Where is she now?" was what she settled on.

"The one place I can't go. She was in Brooklyn the last time I saw her." Edward let out another cold, humorless laugh. "She was hooking on a street corner."

Bella was stunned. Hooking? As in, prostitution?

"But… why?" Bella choked out. "It's not like she needs the money."

"It was just her way of coping I guess. Her way of feeling like she was loved… I don't know." He looked almost as if he was going to be sick. His face had gone pale and his knuckles were clenched tight.

"When was the last time you saw her?" Bella wondered.

"About a year and a half ago. I went to a lot of trouble to see her. I knew she was in Brooklyn, the one place I couldn't go anymore. So I went in carefully. They told me if they ever saw me in back there again, they would kill me on the spot. It's a damn trouble to fly anymore. I have to take a car with tinted windows and a chauffeur. Believe me when I say they'd know. They'd know if I was in Brooklyn. I was part of the group. The group is huge. They have people on every corner, people in ever shop. Those people run the entire area of the city. They knew I was there when I came to find Alice. They didn't kill me only because Alice stood in their way and I paid them off. I gave them money and left my little sister there so I wouldn't get killed."

He looked ready to cry. His eyes swimming with unshed tears. Bella's heart clenched painfully for Edwards hurt.

"I'm a coward Bella. It's disgusting. I put myself before the last person in my family. I always put myself before anyone. I put myself before my dad, really only thinking he was a source of unlimited funds. I put myself before my mom, in her greatest time of desperation and need. I put myself before my sister, who was too young and naive to really understand what had happened. I won't do it again Bella." Edward's voice cracked slightly at the end.

"I won't put myself before you, " he said, pleading with her to believe him.

"I never said you would." She whispered into his ear, burying her face into his neck.

He hugged her back, harder than he usually would have, he was just so glad that she didn't judge him for his cruel and battered past. He was damaged goods, and she was so perfect to him. He didn't deserve her but he didn't want to push her away.

"You're too good for me Bella," Edward whispered back.

"I may be good for you, but I'll never be _too_ good for you."

Edward laughed, though the humor was still gone from his voice. Bella didn't know how long it would take to truly return. She had learned that even before, when she had heard his laugh, he was still restrained. He'd been this way for a long time.

Bella wanted to change that.

"Bella, you're better for me than you think." Edward laughed into her ear. It was a little more natural and a little less forced. She seemed to be the only thing that could ever bring back the life into his troubled and restless spirit.

A beeping began from somewhere downstairs, loud and quickly paced. Bella jumped and Edward groaned, sighing loudly.

"What's that?" she asked.

Edward stood up and headed toward the stairs. Just before his head disappeared bellow the floor of the library he told her, "My pager."

Bella stared in confusion at the stairs for a while. She got up and headed to the lower floor when she heard the pagers annoyingly persistent beeping finally die. She walked through the oversized apartment until she found him.

He was sitting on his bed with a sleek black phone pressed to his ear. She leaned against the door frame watching him and waited for him to finish his conversation.

"…Bill I'm sort of busy at the moment." Silence, "But can't you get Dr. Calloway in there?"

Bella realized it was a call from the hospital, they needed him there. She didn't want someone not to get treated because she was there and Edward didn't want to leave because of her. She began to wave her arms to try and get his attention, whisper-shouting his name.

"_Edward."_

He looked up at her.

"Hold on a second, Bill," he said into the receiver. His hand came and held the phone over the mouth piece so none of the conversation would be heard on the other end.

"Edward, you can't _not_ go in to help them just because I'm here." Bella said in an exasperated tone.

"They're understaffed because a couple of doctors called in sick." This irony amused her yet she made no attempt to show it. "It's really no big deal. I'm already into over-time hours and I've finally got a day off, I want to spend it with my girlfriend," he finished.

"I'll still be here when you get back." She laughed, though this opportunity gave her an idea.

Edward thought for a second then shook his head.

"No, I'm going to stay," he said, then brought his hand away from the phone.

"Edward!" Bella exclaimed, frustrated. "They need your help. Go in and save some lives."

Edward rolled his eyes at the last part but only said, "I'm not going to put my work before you."

"You're not. I'm telling you to go in and help." His friends would do him some good right now. Work was really the only thing besides Bella that seemed to bring back to natural. Besides, the plan was made up in her mind; she just needed to get away inconspicuously right now.

He nodded once and brought the phone to his ear again.

"Yeah, Bill, I'll be in later." He sighed and looked up at Bella, who smiled smugly and nodded. He laughed again and rolled his eyes. The sound made her spine tingle.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

The taxi smelled like smoke and stale beer. There was hole in the leather interior with little bits of fluff poking out here and there. The driver was an older man with a graying beard and salt and pepper hair. Rosary beads hung on the rearview mirror and the radio was tuned to an oldies station with Frank Sinatra belting out the chorus notes.

Bella amused herself by watching the meter count slowly higher as the yellow cab made its way down the traffic infested street. Six lanes of road and eighteen blocks of traffic. The cab driver tapped along to the jazzy rhythm of Ella Fitzgerald. This station had everything. Her thumbs twiddled hurriedly as she waited to arrive.

The cab rolled slowly across the Brooklyn Bridge. Bella saw the other bridges of Manhattan as she looked out the left side window; the Manhattan Bridge and the Williamsburg just beyond that. She watched all the barges make their slow procession down the Hudson River and out towards the Atlantic. The traffic moved quicker now, in the Brooklyn area. She saw all the signs pointing her towards the JFK Airport and then all the other signs pointing her to the newest Laundromat or Chinese place; take-out only.

She paid the cabbie and shut the door of the taxi. She didn't need to go any farther. It was cold outside. The sky was grey and clouds covered the sun. Bella pulled her jacket in closer, and held her phone in her pocket. This wasn't a particularly bad part of Brooklyn, but she knew where she had to go.

Or did she?

Bella suddenly realized that she had absolutely no idea how to find these guys. She didn't even know what the name of the gang was. Or where they would operate from. All she had were three things Edward had told her. One, they worked out of Brooklyn—check. Two, they were everywhere—sort-of check. Three, a name. Alice Mason--un-checked.

How was she supposed to locate her? She didn't even know what Alice looked like. Though she must look something like her brother, right?

Bella took a deep breath and suddenly wished she had gone home to change into something a little more suitable for someone who sleuths in Brooklyn. She had on the same outfit she had been wearing the day before. Her black leather boots—which were not for sleuthing anywhere, especial Brooklyn— and her skinny jeans—which were acceptable for mystery hunting. Her white camisole was, however, not. It was not the outfit she would have intended on wearing, had she known where yesterday was going to take her.

Bella laughed to herself as she thought back.

Yesterday. Only yesterday? She had been talking to Edward online, they had gone for a walk, and then gone to Grounded. She had found out a million things about him, and he had opened up in a way he never had to anyone else before her.

Now here she was in Brooklyn—the one place that was a death trap to anyone with mutual knowledge of Edward Mason—looking for his little sister whom he hadn't seen in over a year, who was also last seen hooking on the street corner, _WHOM _she also had no idea what looked like. Got everything?

"Ridiculous," Bella said out loud, earning herself a few strange looks.

_Am I completely insane? Or just like, on the verge of a breakdown here? _She questioned herself, choosing not to speak out loud in case someone answered that question for her.

Bella walked for a half hour, not really sure of what she was looking for. _A clue_, she kept telling herself. Something that would lead her to Alice.

'_Her mother had a dream that her daughter's going to grow up to be a junkie.'_

Bella's phone rang from her pocket. Her current favorite song playing over the tiny, poor speakers. She retrieved the phone and flipped it open, holding the little red cell to her ear.

"Hello?" She asked into the receiver.

"Hey Bells. Just checking up on you while I'm on break." Edward's voice said through the speaker.

"Hey, how's work going?" Bella asked, yet her stomach sunk. She didn't want him to know where she was.

"It's good. I'm glad you got me to come in today. I think I needed it."

"That's good. I'm glad you can have fun at work."

"I wouldn't call it fun, but yea, me too."

That confused Bella, but she didn't ask. If he didn't want to tell her what he _would _call it, then she wouldn't ask.

"So will you be at the apartment when I get back?" Edward asked, sounding hopeful.

Bella thought for a moment. Lying would probably be better in the short run, though she knew in the long run, it would be bad. She would just play along with it at the moment and hope that everything would turn out alright. Nothing would be complete lies; that wasn't good. Just bending the truth a little to fit around her story nicely.

"Yea, I will." She said, just as a car alarm went off right beside her, the noise tipping off she probably wasn't in his apartment at the moment.

"Where are you now?" Edward asked, curiously.

"Just… Uhm… going back to my place to pick up more clothes." Well she was, just not yet. Later, after she found his sister.

"You're staying the night again?" he asked enthusiastically.

"I think I will." She couldn't bear to break the happiness his voice exulted when he asked. Besides, he just seemed so much happier when she was around. She really did love him. Life was just… better when Edward was nearby.

They hung up the phone after pleasant good-byes and Edward got called back to the ICU. Bella closed the phone and slipped it back into her pocket after she checked the time. 2:39. Edward got off shift at around six. She needed about an hour for travel time and about thirty minutes to pack her bag to get to his house. That meant she had just under two hours to find Alice and talk to her.

Bella set out again, boots clicking violently against the pavement. Brooklyn began to get shabbier and more rundown as she headed farther East. More buildings were closed up and more bums gathered in the alleyways. It was only mid-day, yet everything seemed to get darker and more intimidating as she went on. The brick of the apartments were so dirty and grimy to the point that even a hard rain couldn't wash it away. An apartment building that had recently caught on fire stood ancient and fragile looking, its doorway gaping and blackened like the mouth to a distorted cave. It stood on the sidewalk with the air of a twisted face. Two broken windows that represented eyes and a giant, gaping mouth. It looked like it was ready for a snack. The fire had left the building hungry and brittle.

Bella continued walking, banishing the thoughts of people-eating buildings from her mind. That was childish, she was on a mission and wouldn't let a hungry-looking building stop her. She walked for a while, just looking at the different places and closed up buildings and envisioning one day coming back here and making an album of photos in black and white. Calling the album: Where Wealth Surrenders. Brooklyn was once flooded with people and activity. Now this area was run down. It was a ghetto.

Bella realized she was on an abandoned street. A few fires in trashcans lined the road, but there were no people on it. The windows and doors were all boarded up on either side of the street and shadows loomed everywhere, even in the mid-afternoon light. Bella shivered and began to turn; this road was not the place she wanted to be.

"Hey now," a man said, stalking towards her. He was burly and heavy set, probably six-foot-five, the kind of guy you see lifting two hundred pound weights at the gym. His skin was dark and his hair was black. The worst part was his eyes. They were blacker than his hair. Cold and dark as night.

"Well, well," a second man piped in. Bella hadn't noticed him. Her heart sunk. It was possible she could outrun the burly man, though not in these shoes, but there was no hope of outrunning the second one. He was tall and stringy, the kind of guy who's used to years of running, from the cops probably. He was pale and thin and his clothes were much too big for him. His hair was a light brown and his eyes were blue. Bella might have thought him good looking, had she not been in the situation she was in. She knew full well what these guys were after and knew they would get it too if she didn't think of something quickly.

"You in the wrong neighborhood girl," the first one said. He licked his lips and looked straight into her eyes.

_No Mercy_, Bella thought. _He's looking at me like I'm something to eat._

The second one just shook his head and laughed.

"Ehh, Two-Ton." The second one gestured toward the first. He was quirky and twitchy and had an odd gleam in his eye, he'd done this before.

"Where you think a cute little bitty like this gets off bein' in Brooklyn all by her lonesome? Eh?" He spoke with a New York accent and Bella had a feeling he'd lived here his whole life.

"Dunno. Don't care. Wish it'd happen more often." Two-Ton laughed again. "Yo, Quicks, go round the other side, we'll herd her in."

Bella had stopped listening. That name had registered in her head. Where had she heard it?

Quicks?

Edward. He had mentioned the name when he was talking about the gang.

Quicks and Two-Ton were closing in on her now. She couldn't back away and she couldn't run forward. She was trapped, but she had a chance now.

"Wait!" she screeched. Quicks jumped and twitched again, but didn't stop. He grabbed onto her arm with one hand and her other wrist in his other.

Bella thrashed out, kicking his shin with her boot. He yelled, but only got more angry. Two-ton came up behind her and grabbed her arm by the elbow. She attempted to kick him, too, but go nowhere. The spike of her heel came down on his toe and he howled in pain.

"Bitch, those were my new Nikes." He yelled at her. Bella didn't care though. All she wanted was to get away and crawl safely back into bed with Edward and wish this morning had never happened.

"Wait!" Bella yelled again. She needed to get in these few words.

"Wait, I know Alice!" She gasped, aiming a kick at Quick's groin. Her foot connected and he groaned loudly, coughing a few times and hitting the pavement, his hands clamped between his legs. Two-ton hesitated a moment, his friend spread-eagle on the cement. It was enough time, all she needed.

"Do you know Alice Mason?" Bella asked loudly, still struggling.

Two-ton let her elbows go.

"Yo, you know Ally Cat?"

"Yes!" Bella shouted, though she didn't.

"Bitty, you shoulda said somthin. Man, Ally's gunna have my head now. And not in a good way neither." He said blatantly to Bella, pointing a finger at her chest.

Bella had no idea what the word 'bitty' meant but she decided to go with it. Pretending to be Alice's friend would probably help her later on.

"I was a little preoccupied fighting off rapists," she said snidely, though regretted it immediately. She had no idea what these guys would do to her, friend or no friend.

"Man, we was just playin'. Wasn't we Quicks?" Two-ton looked down at the still sprawled body of a man on the ground.

"_Bitch." _Was all she heard from him.

"Yo that was nice. I ain't never seen Quicks go down so hard 'for."

Bella wasn't really in the mood for compliments. She just wanted to get to Alice and then get out of here. All this drama had used up a half an hour of her limited time.

"Can you just please take me to Alice?"

"Yea Bitty, we'll take you wherever you need to go." Two-Ton smiled wide, showing off a few gold teeth alongside some cracked and broken ones.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

The two escorted her through the streets of ghetto Brooklyn with expert knowledge. They seemed to know this place better than Bella could find her way around on her computer. Two-Ton walked close to Bella's side, never in front, while Quicks slunk behind a few feet, never getting closer than a three foot radius. He kept eyeing her boot and then flinching slightly, which amused Bella to no end.

They passed broken windows and abandoned bicycles, bums with fires and cardboard houses. Both Two-Ton and Quicks seemed to know every homeless person in Brooklyn. Sometimes one would come up to them and Two-Ton would make some sort of complicated hand movement and him and the bum would pound fists. All of them seemed to have nick-names too. Not gang names, but names they had picked up with the trash they dragged around. Names like "Twelve-Tin-Tommy." Apparently he carried a case of the most expensive cans of beer in all America. He harbored these delicacies and shared them with no one, and only an elite few would ever have the privilege of laying their eyes on these masterpieces.

Bella glanced at her watch. It was almost three-thirty. She would have under an hour to talk with Alice if they didn't get there soon. She needed to find Alice and… and…

And _what_?

What exactly had she been planning? Bella didn't know. She had been so determined to just find her that she really didn't know what she would do once she _did_ find her. What was she going to say to her? "Oh hey, I'm your brother's new girlfriend. I was just making sure that you were alive and well. He's kind of worried about you. He was telling me about how you were a prostitute last night. That must be interesting." No! She was insane! Well, there was no backing out now, whatever she was planning. Quicks and Two-Ton were surrounding her, and she felt she wouldn't get away if they found out she didn't actually know Alice.

They led her into a rundown building. It was all brick and most of the windows were boarded up. A light was smashed over the door and the entire building was covered in gang tags and graffiti. Bella realized that she had passed this building on her way into the center of Brooklyn. It was once an old police station, now the pent house for an elite gang. The irony was almost sickening.

Quicks knocked on the door a few times and a face suddenly appeared between the makeshift curtains someone had hung on the door. They looked more like a t-shirt cut in half. The face took in Quicks and nodded, as well as Two-Ton. His eyes narrowed and his eyebrow rose when he looked at Bella though, but in a way that made her feel uneasy and made a knot form in her stomach.

The man behind the door opened it wide and pounded fists with Quicks who laughed and quickly explained where Bella had come from—editing the part about Bella's boot in his crotch. The man nodded his approval and set off down the giant opened foyer of the building, gesturing for Bella to follow.

The inside was as much a contrast to the outside as life was to death. The inside had obviously been remodeled with couches and tables. A giant entertainment unit sat in one corner with a bunch of teens sitting round it watching some sort of hip-hop dance movie. There were two fridges sitting against the opposite wall, which Quicks had presumed to raid as soon as he stepped foot in the door.

Bella followed the man who had greeted them at the door, down the hallway and up a set of stairs. A handful of rooms that had once been offices were scattered across the second floor. He led her down that hallway and to the second last door.

The panel swung forward, revealing a rather tattered pull-out couch and a T.V on the opposite wall. Two men sat on the bed with a girl in between them. She was about Bella's age, yet her face looked older, like she had been through a lot. She was wearing a tiny sequined red tube top and black mini skirt. She was tiny and frail with spiky black hair and brown-golden eyes.

"Yo, Alley. 'Dis chick wants-ta see ya," the man who'd been leading Bella up the stairs said. His words ran together as he spoke and he had a heavy accent, one that Bella couldn't really place. So this was Alice. She didn't really look a lot like her brother, but she could remotely tell they were related.

"Yeah?" said Alice, looking Bella up and down. "Who's she?"

Bella was a little affronted that they spoke about her like she wasn't there and couldn't speak for herself.

"I don't know," the man said, shrugging.

Bella stepped forward then and cut him off before he could say what he was about to.

"I'm Bella. I need to talk to you, Alice."

"Alice? No one's called me that in a long time."

"Sorry,_ Alley-Cat_." Bella put heavy sarcasm into the ridiculous nick-name.

Alice scoffed once and smiled. Her smile made her look younger, and more like her brother.

"Alright, what can I do for you, _Bella,_" Alice asked, dragging herself to the end of the bed—much to the two men's annoyance.

"I needed to talk to you about someone," Bella said, and then looked around the room at the three other people observing this conversation.

"Alone!" she emphasized.

"Whatever you need to say to me don't need to be said to me alone," Alice said, winking at the boys on the bed behind her.

Bella needed a way to convince Alice that this was a conversation that needed to be had in privacy. She needed to figure out how to tell Alice that they were going to talk about her brother without notifying the gang that she was Edward's girlfriend. She wasn't quite sure what they would do to her. They didn't really like him down here.

"Uhm, it's about someone particular. He's not very well liked around here anymore. His parents are both dead." Bella rambled off. She could tell she wasn't getting anywhere by the blank look on Alice's face.

"Okay. Uhm, I have no idea who you're talking about. So if you so badly needed to talk to me, now would be the time to say something."

Bella searched her mind for something that would key Alice off. Anything.

"But four young oysters hurried up,

Ready for their treat." She'd rehearsed the line from the poem that Edward used to read Alice when she was little.

"What?" Alice asked, narrowing her eyes at Bella.

"Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,

Their shoes were clean and neat."

"What's she talk'in bout? Oysters don't have feet." One of the men on the bed laughed. Bella couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I know that Danny." Alice snapped at him. She was scanning Bella's face. Searching for the reason she was here. "Everyone, out!" she yelled at all the men in the room.

"But Ally, I paid good mon—" Danny began

"OUT!" Alice cut him off.

They all scampered off the bed and Bella turned to leave the room.

"No, Bella, come here." Alice said to her. "I think you do need to talk to me after all."

**_I really have no idea what to think of this chapter. I have mixed feelings on it. I heard it was good, I heard it was bad. I don't know what to think. You guys inform me? Also. I was reading another story by one of my fave authors on here. So I'm starting a new thingy! (Again..) Reveiw and I'll send you a sneek peek of the next chapter! :O I know right? :) So yea, send in a review that says "OKAY SNEEK PEEK MEH!" or something along those lines. AND YOU TOO, could be the proud owner of next chapter's sneek peek!_**

**_Onto my book review segment. I'm reading a book at the moment, (To get into the christmas spirit) called "Let It Snow" By John Green, Lauren Myracle, and Maureen Johnson. It's the most adorable book I've read in a while. It comprises of three short stories which all link together in a small way. They all happen on christmas eve durring the biggest story Virginia (I think) has ever seen. They are seriously adorable. GO READ NOW! :)_**

**_Oh and that last note. You might be surprised to find, I've never actually been to New York city itself for an extended period of time. I've seen it, i've driven through it, but I've never really been in it. That knowledge shown in this chapter was strickly from CSI New York and Google Maps. :)_**

**_Review for a sneek peek, and also to amuse me._**

**_I'm off to chase the shirtless boy that just left the computer room... cuz he totaly just winked at me! (Go Jamie!) -Insert girl squeel- EEEEEeeeeEEEEE!_**

**_~Jamie_**


	6. NEW STORY!

_**Soooooooooo! :] It's me again!**_

_**I know I haven't written in a long time and you all probably forget who I am… or what this story is about… ME TOO! :D**_

_**Anyway, just wanted to tell everyone out there… I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP! I'm just lazy… and busy…**_

_**BUTTTT I've started betaing a new story… so I'd love it if you'd all check it out. Her name is Rainandwood and the concept for her story is amazing! I think you'll all really like it. :D SOOO PLEASE! CHECK IT OUT! **_

_**Linkage : www**__**(Dot)**__**fanfiction**__**(dot)**__**net/s/4957270/1/Flood **_

_**I will be posting for Fools in Love again soon! Just need some time and inspiration!**_

_**With Love to all my fans!**_

_**~Jamie**_


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